pax_athena

This was again one of those full weeks.



In short: The more I have to do, the less I think and therefore the better. Though the heat makes it hard to think anyway, so I might just aimlessly wander through the city later instead of doing something proper like reading or tidying up or working.
Oh, and also stolen two memes on books & literature stolen from kelpie667:

( two book/literature memes )

Most of you will know where it is from anyway. And if you don't - find out. It might now be the perfect book in every sense, but it's an absolute ‘must read’:

( The primary aim of modern warfare (in accordance with the principles of doublethink... )


And the appendix - which seems to be missing from some of the (online) versions - which ruins half the book imho. I might be impressed with the idea of ‘Big Brother’, but I'm even more with the controlling of a whole society via controlling the language. Oh, and by the way - there is no word for ‘science’ in Newspeak...

( Newspeak )

Wow?! In the most alarming sense of ‘wow’.

xray_beachy was here for three-and-a-half days and is now again away :( Was everything far too quick.

Right now, everything feels too rushed. I flail my arms but things do not stop racing. And I'm oh so mixed about it. I like she rush, the surge: working on a webpage, doing research, cooking, seeing friends (today, in the evening - perhaps this weekend), helping to finish up the Obervartory's exhibiotion for the International Year of Astronomy 2009 (starting in half an hour, still working on it - but it's great, you'll need to come by and see it!), managing stuff, making silly jokes with the people here, picking cherries from the cherry tree (something I have not done since I was a small child) ... But I also need some time. To think. To tidy up my room. To wash and iron. To answer my e-mails. To make phone calls. To make a Remeis group on facebook. To write. To read. To send out some letters/packages I promised to friends.

I just wonder what's the pace I could sustain over a longer time without breaking down. Because really - I love this rush.

-------

And two different things:
1. Again no Internet at home. So just don't wonder that I'm not online. I'm fine, just without Internet.
2. Dreamwidth codes. Does anybody need one? I still have five of them around. Will need a comment and (if I do not already have it) your e-mail address (via PM).

You know, sometimes things are perfect. Work works, and private life works and the sun is shining and you feel pretty looking into the mirror in the morning.
And than you find out, that they have seemingly lost that one important paper of yours at university. On a Friday. When nobody is around. And when you have to be back at a place 3 hours away on Monday, so you can't just drop by. And no, you don't have a copy, because you never actually had that paper in your hands, the secretary (to be exact: the holiday replacement) having filled it out and made you sign it and packed it away all in one go.

AAAAAAAAARRRRRRGGGGGG!!!!!

I know, we will find a solution. But it's not like I have time to waste on it. And not like it will not cost me nerves. And not like my weekend and the beginning of the next week will be as perfect as hoped for, all because of it. At least I found it out before the two month deadline was over (but hardly and there is an other deadline over on Monday which will be missed if the paper does nor miraculously re-appear) and they just randomly gave me a topic for a diploma thesis, most likely something in solid state stuff or things alike nobody is really interested in, because they did not realize that I have one already, as the registration form for it is missing!

I'll go and try to have a nice weekend nevertheless now. And to worry less.

[edit, Monday]: Seems like it has been found. Yay!

One of my favourite skirts is torn :( And the fabric is too thin to stitch it up properly. Will ask my grandma to crochet me some little flowers and look whether I can conceal the hole with them. I know, I could just buy an other one, but I really like the one I have.

Anyway, meme stolen from telpi:
01. Anyone who looks at this entry has to post this meme and their current wallpaper at their LiveJournal.
02. Explain why you're using that wallpaper.
03. Don't change your wallpaper before doing this. The point is to see what you had on.

( a Suse desktop )
Well, that picture on a laptop named Starscream, it could be misunderstood, I know... *sighs* But it is just sooo beautiful! And I'm just in love with fallen angels (as if one could not tell from the stuff I write and my favourite book *coughs*). The artist's website is here: www.sandara.net


Then two tests I found rather amusing (yes, it's again the balance theme):

( 1&2 )

And last but not least - I finally got my hands on the last issues of ‘Trinity’ I was missing. Given that I'm so into symbols and pictures, no wonder I liked the series. And #48 contained a page, which was almost as good as the one from #12 (obviously, spoilers follow):

( You are the void hound? I am the void. Welcome. )

I can swim - as long as I know that my feet can touch the ground or know that I only have to stretch out my hand to grip the edge of the pool.

But right now I'm swimming freely without any support and the usual panic does not come. I'm a bit of tired waiting for it, so I do not. I swim, because I can. The surge around does not affect me, I know how to handle it. A bit of diplomaty, a bit of pressuse, a bit of common sense. Taking it with a smile - call it superiority complex, but I feel strong right now. And I like this feeling.

So, I came home to find our little hallway full with ‘funny’ postcards. And by ‘full’ I mean covered without even a trace of wall left. And with ‘funny’ I mean the kind of advertisement-funny. Ugh... No?!
Anyway, tomorrow we (the two of us - otherwise I'd insist on four) will sit down and decide what to do with the common areas. So that stuff like that and other smaller, but not less nerving things, do not happen again. I hate pushing for that, but after having a crying fit on the phone to ♥ yesterday, I had to.

Work today (with my former adviser from UCSD being here) was at least compensation for yesterday. And this weekend me and ♥ are going to finish my room - that is, screw the bed together and put up the remaining lights. And then I have to finish the decorating. Not that there is much to be done due to a lack of free walls and surfaces, but a bit. I have this poster:

( Alphonse Mucha - Poetry )

.. bought in the Mucha museum in Prague. It would nicely fit into my room on the yellow wall and it is me, because it's a Mucha, because it's something bought in Prague and because it is the personification of poetry (yes, both ‘personification’ and ‘poetry’ are important). But on the other hand there is this painting I fell in love with in Amsterdam:

( Vincent van Gogh - Almond Blossom )

It too, would look great. My beloved ukiyo-e do not fit the room this time - though they would fit the kitchen, but I do not think they will be welcome there. At least that reduces the number of things I have to choose from XD

+ While being out for some cocktails with colleagues on Wednesday, I found out that they have one of those exchange-books-bookshelves in B. - and one functioning through the whole year! The one back in Augsburg used to be in a park and therefore open only during the summer. Makes me happy, since I'll be able to get rid of some books I have twice or don't intend to read at all (after offering them here, I guess - but it's not for right now, anyway). And the evening itself was a lot of fun, too. But given how enthusiastic I am about working here, you would have guessed it anyway.

- I'm lacking any motivation to work right now. I don't know how it could have happened, but right now I'd prefer playing Mahjongg or renewing my friendspage to anything real; and this while work is still a lot of fun. But I have four days of holidays right now: staying in the country, playing with the dogs, reading, watching TV, writing letters. I hope that will be enough to make my motivation come back.

+ I got a e-mail from an old friend, back from the school times (and also some volunteering I've done back then). So now I'm looking forward to meeting and catching up. I need to become better in keeping in touch with people not to lose those I like.

- The very idea of a confrontation that might come makes me all nervous. I need things to happen (or even better: not to), instead of waiting and thinking. Yes, I'm not a very patient person in this regard.

+ Sent out three packages for wunschlisten. One more in making, as well as a package for ‘my’ grandma from pisma_v_jamm - this time I even have some Russian stamps, which I'll send together with a back-addressed envelope and stationery, so there is a chance to get a real reply, not only the little messages the girls visiting the nursing home are able to forward (which already make me very happy, since I get to know that my letters arrive, are read and enjoyed).

- All my writing inspiration is gone. Just like that... I finally have time to write - but all my characters decided to sulk and turn their backs on me. No chance to grip them. No chance to write a coherent story. And yes, I know, that all the three minuses in this entry most likely go together. I also know where I have to start to make them disappear. But I still have to wait. Just a bit.

+ I've taken the train at 6:20 a.m. back to B. from M. last Monday. Because I wanted to see a play on Sunday evening. Crazy, isn't it? Especially regarding the fact, that I managed to be at the observatory on time. But it was so worth it! During the first half, I felt this urge to leave, because the production was so intense and I did not know whether I could stand it. Hans Fallada's ‘Little Man, What Now?’ is already a hard book to read; not so much for the language, but for the intensity and the implications and the reality of what is happening there. As a play... - I cried in the end; and as recognized by a certain person, this is a sign of quality for me. This scene at the very end, when Emma explains to Jachmann why they are not able to accept his help, why Pinneberg has to stay ‘clean’ - it's so strong, so heartbreaking... I really loved that they did not try to modernize the text; a good play does not need to be modernized with references to today, they happen anyway. This and the minimalistic stage, the way Emma and Pinneberg tell us what happens (it did keep the touch of a novel this way; a novel turned into a play, not re-written to be a play) and the very choice of actors - just great!

+/- EDEN - the Endless World is over. It was a good ending. With the whole series as a bildungsroman for Elijah and Kenji, it was a perfect ending. And Sophia, as the demiurge of a new universe - and the ‘how’ of her overpowering Magus, this was impressive and logical and as if everything was leading to this very thing; perhaps it was this way indeed; perhaps Sophae will make it happen the same way a second time, in an other world. And Enoia's strength, up to the bitter end. Not nice, not humane, but human, as he always was - that also was perfect. And Kenji's last panel, with him still lost, but so much stronger. Perhaps strong enough to finally live, instead of hating. Still, it leaves me sad. This story was with me for the last 8 years; now it is over.

Marbung 2009 - so, anybody wants to make a guess which workshop of the five they offer I'll be attending? And does anybody of you live in the vicinity and feels like meeting up before/after?

Btw, I really like my roomie. Our kitches looks perfect! And it has enough space for a matress, since it's also our living- and guestroom.

Also, the topic of my diploma thesis is registered (Cyg X-1, I come!), a timeline is made and I already started to work on Integral-data - well, actually I try to figure out how exactly the satellite and the data extraction pipeline work.

And a random fact, that, as I realized lately, seem to shock some people (at least some russian speaking): All the people who play a major role in my life right now are men. I'll spare you the rant why I think it to be absolutely annoying to have to explain to people that yes, this is absolutely normal. I'll just state that I'm incredibly happy to have them around and would not like to have anybody else.

Oh, and 9 books (Kate Wilhelm, Samuel R. Delany, Robert Silverberg) xray_beachy bought for me were just dropped on my table. Yay!

Seen Star Trek for a second time. Still love it. And it's sooo great, what they did out of the cheating theme ^^" I need somebody to squee over it with me. ♥ just does not understand it.
[Edit: OK, OK - I actually surfed around and found some tests and I seem to return to this result *lol* And no, I did not push in that direction. I really did not]

Have not done memes for ages - this one is stolen (and translated) from blu_vee:

If I were...

( if, if ... )

Amsterdam ...
Wednesday: train from Bamberg to Munich - flight to Amsterdam (Munich airport has some awful coffee) - walking through the city - finishing ‘The Man in the Maze’ on the way - Emily The Strange Hoodie - arriving (D.! I don't even know how to thank her for the great time there!) - buying presents for &hearts, parents and some others - cooking (salmon-cream-tomato noodles, yum!) - Irish pub with API-guys (as almost from here on): cider, talking
Thursday: little bit of role-playing (just me and D., the game master) - sightseeing + a beautiful skirt - opening of the bar in the new science faculty building of the UvA (University of Amsterdam) and sneaking into the new rooms of the API - cooking (risotto) - some reading (‘Persepolis’) - ‘Krabat’ with English subtitles and a lot of fun trying to make the subtitles work - talking
Friday: Finishing ‘Persepolis’ - market on my way to the Tropenmuseum - Tropenmuseum and the Vodou exhibition (and no, I still haven't seen the whole museum, it's just so great and so big!) - classic Amsterdam weather on the way home, but you haven't been there if you didn't get wet- Paneer cheese at an Indian restaurant - cocktails at a friend's place, including a lovely hamster and a cat (no, not together) - talking (it's just soo great) - walking home for an hour between 3 and 4 a.m.
Saturday: not enough sleep - Cuiper Market (cheese!) - making German pudding - role playing (a pink dress, naked dwarfs, goblins, Seth!) - Star Trek - home at 1 a.m.
Sunday: flight back reading Dostoyevsky. I SO miss all the guys ;_;

Star Trek ...
( SPOILERS FOR STAR TREK (2009) )

I should perhaps mention that I'm in Amsterdam and it's great &hearts I so love the API-people. But it also means that I'm hardly ever online till next weekend or so, will be in Munich after Amsterdam and have my days full of meeting people and doing things...

And right now the Internet tends to be too troublesome and drama-full, far less worth it than real life, so I'm on a half-hiatus or something like that.

Oh, look, a real entry! You did not expect one, finally without whining about exams or moving? But I'm still capable of some. So let me invite you to a book. Or rather, to the world of an author: Kate Wilhelm.

If there is one constant through all her work I've read so far, it is this unsettling feeling. Of unexplainable danger, of things shifting and changing and hiding behind the next corner. What she writes? It's hard to classify. Let's stay with one single book, one I'll cite from: ‘The Downstairs Room’. There is the title story, which I could not describe by a different word than horror. Which is strange, since usually horror is not my piece of cake. But when written by Kate Wilhelm I love it. There is ‘The Planners’ - a Nebula winning science fiction work, a scintillating convolution of psychology, evolution, madness, biology and religion, where every paragraph hides another layer of meaning. And simpler stricken and yet not less impressive ‘Baby, you were great’: again pure science fiction, this time more a hard science and a view on the media – and this in the sixties! - which is just too modern even though not groundbreaking. Still, it does not fail to shake. And there is ‘The Feel of Desperation’ and there is ‘How Many Miles to Babylon’ and ‘Sirloin and White Wine’, all perfectly real and deeply disturbing in different ways because they are so real, because it still might happen next door.

But in the end, what makes me say ‘go and buy’ are not only the stories, but the comments, Kate Wilhelm gives about every one of her stories, the little essays giving an insight into a great (look up, how much she has written - most coming after this anthology(!) -, how much she has moved) writer:

( click for the rest )

All citations from: Kate Wilhelm – The Downstairs Room – Dell Publishing, 1968

Done. Done. Done. :D :D :D :D :D :D
Plans now:
1. Visit parents (will go to A. in half an hour)
2. Pack the rest of my stuff.
3. Move.
4. Paint the new flat.
5. Build up all the furniture. Unpack all my stuff.
6. Go to Remeis (Tuesday, everything else has to be finished by then). Start diploma thesis.

I might not have Internet for a while in B. So bear with me for a while.
And yeah, I really developed form a theorist to an experimental physicist, or at least a data-analyzing one ;) And it feels strange not to have to learn stuff anymore. Even reading does not appeal that much right now o_O

So I'm one of those lucky guys who got a dreamwidth account. But I still don't know what I need it for. This one here will for sure stay primary (especially since I'm not that much a fannish person). So far I don't plan to cross-post and will keep it reading only, especially hoping that scans_daily will re-appear there. But yeah, let's see how many of you wander over. If you have an account there, friend me as http://pax-athena.dreamwidth.org/ (who else?).

(@schattenstern: If/when I get an invite code, you'll get it!)

Ikea.
- 400€.
And I'm still lacking a mattress, a guest bed/mattress, curtains (which will be bought in Amsterdam, to where a flight is booked for the beginning of May) and some kitchen-stuff. But have bed, wardrobe, armchair, a very colourful kitchen apron and a lot of other stuff.
I'm so glad I worked and saved like crazy so I can afford this moving. But I might consider eating more potatoes and onions. Onions are inexpensive and I know at least three yummy recipes with them as the main ingredient - onion soup, baked onions in cream and warm Greek onion salad. Any other ones you could recommend? ;)

Still nothing worth telling. But for the meanwhile pictures of what other do while I'm learning:




This used to be a roof. It will be one again in two or three weeks. Meanwhile:


( Read more... )